I Finally Get Around to Endorsing an Energy Drink
By Christopher Munroe
I am thirsty.
Life is empty.
Why? Why isn’t there an energy drink for me?
Isn’t there?
Bev-rage, an energy drink by Goths, for Goths, is finally
available, assuming you can face the conformists at your local store.
Available in three flavors, Black as Night Black Current,
Black as the Raven’s Wing Black Cherry and Black as my Soul Salt-Cola, Bev-rage
provides the energy you need for moping, writing poetry, or just sitting alone
listening to old Cure records through oversized headphones.
All the activities a Goth might need energy for…
Bev-rage, buy it.
Drink it.
Quench your existential thirst.
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